Squidward's got nothing on me

mapswithoutwyoming:

evilwizard:

me: so what job experience do you guys bring to the team

guard one: well, we have a lot of experience with breakdancing—

guard two: no we absolutely do not. but we did guard these two doors for a bit

guard one: i killed jfk

guard two: he didn’t

me: guard two, if I asked guard one if he killed jfk, what would he say?

guard two: he’d say he didn’t

me: got it. now I’d like to ask you about some—

me:

me: wait what

(via dingdongyouarewrong)

hintsiren:

red-mercer:

ovenroastedtwerkey:

midnightssea:

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The original tweet is the corniest thing I’ve ever fucking seen

A. They’re not gonna tip you, periodt. So already the $10mil is looking better.

B. They’re not gonna talk to you, so any “business advice” you thought was gonna be worth more than $10mil, that’s null and void, aint happening.

C. Here’s the real secret of their “success”; they’re all bad people. That’s literally it. They’re willing to lie, steal, cheat, bully, oppress, rape, etc to get what they want, and their appetites are never sated, so they never stop lying, cheating, etc. You don’t get that kind of money through hard honest work. If you’re willing to be a big enough piece of shit, you could easily be one of these guys.

So yeah, if someone’s offering that choice, get it in writing and stay the hell away from these creeps.

But if you’re serving them you can poison the food

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Originally posted by baileyjoseph

(via notchocheese)

akkkkaall1ttyynnn:

Are we headed to a future where even QR codes are beautiful, not ugly? Believe it or not, these images contain working codes! (Generated by AI trying to create a beautiful image, with the constraint that it contains a working code.)https://t.co/rN0Qu7GXZD pic.twitter.com/fovzuVlc4S  — Toby Ord (@tobyordoxford) June 6, 2023ALT
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See also https://www.reddit.com/r/StableDiffusion/comments/141hg9x/controlnet_for_qr_code/

Source, in mandarin: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/i4WR5ULH1ZZYl8Watf3EPw

(via dingdongyouarewrong)

goats-ablaze:

woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again

(via kazieka)

gurn:

neds declassified CIA torture survival guide

(via perfectlyasymmetrical)

Posted 3 days ago with 805 notes

cannastop:

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(via dingdongyouarewrong)

fractiousrvt:

zoethehead:

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for the redditors coming here, this is how we spread news of important events in the world, with a Destiel meme

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(via papa-poutine)

xanthera:

weirdmageddon:

weirdmageddon:

dude kevin the sea cucumbers “hat” was actually his nuts and his goons fucking ripped it off

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#stephen hillenburg was a marine biologist #he damn well knew this

(via perfectlyasymmetrical)